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Envelope Addressing Etiquette
to Prepare Your Address List
Etiquette Guidelines from The Knot
Etiquette Guidelines from the Southworth Company
Place Cards & Escort Cards
Place cards are
generally addressed with only the title and surname
of the individual. If there is more than one person
with the same last name, then the first name is
While "Mrs." used with
a woman's husband's name before the surname
indicates that a woman is married, it also indicates
that a single woman is widowed, and that no divorce
Example: Mrs. John Smith
If "Mrs." is used with
a woman's first name and her ex-husband's last name,
then it indicates a divorcee.
Example: Mrs. Jane Smith
For a formal function,
the title and surname should be used on a place card
or escort card. First names should be used for less
Place cards for judges
read "Judge Doe".
eHOW article on making a seating plan
The word "mono" is derived from the Greek "monos"
meaning single, alone, or only. Thus, a monogram
consists of the letters from a single person, usually
three letters with the first letter of the last name
larger and flanked by the first letter of the first and
middle names if single, and the first and maiden name if
The exception to the letters of the married monogram
would be if the bride has a double first name, such as
"Mary Ann" and wishes to maintain the "Mary Ann". In
this instance, the "M" and "A" would flank the larger
married initial and the maiden initial would be dropped.
If the woman's last name begins with "Mc", such as
"McDonald", her middle initial would be "McD" which can
be awkward on some monogram styles. It is perfectly
acceptable to use the "M" only for the center initial.
A man's monogram is generally designed with the
first, middle, and last initial in order and all the
Monograms can be used on table linens, silver
flatware, bed linens, bath towels, napkins, and barware.
If you wish to use a design of the bride and groom's
initials before the wedding such as on the wedding
invitation or thank you notes (for gifts received prior
to the wedding), you might consider having a design made
of just the first initials of the bride and groom only,
and not use the last name initial. Combine the first
initials of the bride and groom by joining them with
either an ampersand "&" or a design.
As the vows have not been said, it is improper to use
the bride's married monogram on the wedding program. The
wedding program is the last opportunity for the bride to
use her maiden monogram.
Since most couples do like to have a duogram
combining their names for use after the wedding, style
the initials so that the brides' first initial is first,
the married last name is larger in the middle, and the
groom's first initial is last.
The reason for this is that is it customary to not
separate a man's first name from his last name. So when
you are writing out names of couples, or having your
names engraved on the
cake serving set,
it should look like "Stephanie and John Smith" not "John
and Stephanie Smith."
If a man is using his stationery for business, such
as correspondence notes for business-related social
events, he should use his full name on the card. If the
stationery is strictly social, as for personal thank you
notes, he may use his monogram, initials, or name.
Only the name or monogram of one person is correctly
used on stationery. Once personalized, stationery should
be considered a highly personal item and should not be
If the stationery has
both of your names on it, then you can use it to
reply to invitations but you do not need to sign
The paper for the wedding thank you note is generally
a fold-over note for a woman and a card for a man,
although some men do prefer the foldover.
The exception to the above is what is referred to as
"house stationery". This is paper that is personalized
with the address of the residence or the name of the
property and address, such as "Circle R Ranch, Route 1,
Boerne, Texas 79061." Anyone who resides at or visits
this residence may use this stationery, as it is not
personalized with the name of a person.
Thank You Notes
When writing the thank you note, the individual
actually writing the note thanks the recipient form both
the bride and the groom in the body of the note, but
signs only the name of the person actually writing the
note..."only the hand that holds the pen is allowed the
For further tips for writing thank you notes, please
for Writing Thank You Notes."
Please see our other articles and resources.
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